She made the roast better in that she was so bad that it distracted from how mediocre most of the other jokes were.

“The Yankees Are Not Dead”

I had an Aussie camp counselor who used to force feed us vegemite if we misbehaved. Even he understood how nasty it is to American palates.

Boston racists might actually listen to Big Papi because, you know, he’s one of the good ones.

Did I ever tell you about when my grandfather died and he left me the Minnesota Twins in his will?

I love his music, but I’ve been to two Dylan concerts, one in the late 90s and one for the Modern Times tour. The first concert was awful, unbearable. He couldn’t sing. He’d be playing a song and I wouldn’t know what it was and then catch a lyric and realize that he’d made a new tune for an old song, only his singing…

Doesn’t doing a tryout for the sole purpose of obtaining an endorsement violate some unwritten rule?

I mean, he already plays for the Vikings, so how much worse can it get?

I moved from NYC to Boston last year and even though the rents are similar, literally everything else here is cheaper.

Good advice. You should leave this task for the professionals.

Like another Dylan from Columbine High, this kid just shoots and leaves everyone else to talk about what happened and why.

Drake is the first Canadian Jew to successfully drop a consequence-free N-bomb

I don’t get the extreme pain in my SI anymore, but I get very stiff if I do literally anything for too long. I have to walk around in the morning before I get my day started so that I don’t stiffen up later. If I’m driving, I have to stop every 90 or so minutes to move around. My calf strain happened because during my…

*Dwyane

This single act should make Donald Trump the King of Mt. Takesuvius

The Chargers wanted to get Bosa but they’re going to end up getting BOFA’d

QB WHO WILL BE ON IR BY WEEK 6 HITS WR WHO WILL GET DRUG SUSPENSION BY WEEK 8 FOR TD.

They’re touching every apple before choosing the one they want. Bears: just like us!