This article could have been hilarious. Instead, we get a one-note blog post with zero nuanced humor, which makes it seem more like a personal attack on the family than a tongue-in-cheek roasting. The author basically just turns the volume of his rhetoric up to 10 while he shouts obscenities from his apartment…

Level 29 in Destiny is about as close to gaming purgatory as you can get. If only an angel would swoop down from the heavens with the correct raid gear so I can ascend to Level 30.

Fahey - you've created a monster made of ground pork shoulder and seasonal corporate marketology. Are you happy?

I've also never had a McRib. Am I missing out or should I keep the streak alive?

I've gotten a Chatterehite shader from every raid I've done. I actually thought it was an automatic drop for everyone. FML.

"literally NOTHING"

Moon Patrol, reporting for duty

weakness: popped collars

I can't believe they aren't using their in-house engine! They have spent an incredible amount of time/resources on that engine and to not use it must be a huge blow to that team.

Nostalgia glasses —> on

>.<

Stephen - don't you have an intern laying around somewhere who could make this muddle of data into an infographic? Pictures are fun!

How fast are people completing Final Fantasy VI in these speed runs?

You're an angry little man, aren't you?

Jason, would you say there's a line for every game of having "too much fan service?" I'm generally curious - it seems that line would get blurry for a property like South Park that has been around for close to two decades and is clearly aiming for that existing fan base.

but Balthier

That "save & load" functionality is definitely a game-changer.

Ouch, if that's accurate that's even worse than I thought. Regardless, the reason Nintendo can't drop the price anymore right now is because their investors will flip if they are selling the Wii-U at a significant loss. They need a $100 price drop right now to increase sales but that's not going to happen.

Authors may sensationalize it a little in writing, but by all accounts the Wii-U is a failure. Nintendo barely makes any profit per unit and Wii-U sales will be less than both next gen systems within Q1 2014 if the sales tracks continue. For a system with over a year head start, that is an abject failure.

Because people with new systems have a dearth of games and will buy even older titles to have something to play. Many who missed the game have sold older systems or would rather play on next gen and I'm sure it was relatively easy to recode this for PS4/X1.