Hey, given that her job brings in almost a half-mil a year, I’m fine calling it a career. That’s more than teachers in my state earn in a decade.

I feel like the kind of parents who spend a cool half-mil helping their kids cheat the system probably aren’t the kind of parents who are going to donate all their money to charities so that the kids can learn to stand on their own two feet.

This is why fines should be proportionate to income, rather than fixed.

I’d move in in a heartbeat. All my house parties would feature poolside lightsaber battles (an included rack of luxury lightsabers?!) and late night movie marathons in a fancy movie theater. What’s NOT to love?

It makes me question whether they have even the most basic level of empathy, if watching their own damn child suffer doesn’t make them think twice.

I’m in favor of “Carl” for a dog because there’s a classic picture book series in which Carl the Rottweiler gets Baby into (and out of) trouble whenever mom goes away.

This is the episode that made me a MLP fan. I haaaaated being pranked as a kid — it was either scary or humiliating, and neither are fun — but a couple of my friends enjoyed being pranked. Only prank the people who like it, man! Otherwise you’re just being an asshole! 

No, I’m not okay with this exploitation. A woman, her unborn child, and her friends were graphically murdered in her home because the person who had previously occupied that house had hurt a megalomaniac’s feelings. He wanted everyone in the house destroyed “as gruesome” as possible — knowing full well that the…

Nah. Clogs are hard to keep on one’s feet, and make the wearer walk all clompy.

I think there’s a Supreme Court case applying that same logic to professional dress codes — you can make the women in your law firm wear high heels, but only if you make all the lawyers wear high heels.

Only if you move. If you sit perfectly still, focusing all your attention on keeping your legs contorted just so, then the boys will be able to focus on their studies.

Our band teacher made girls wear black skirts and boys wear black pants, unless the girl played the bassoon or sax (since those had to go between the knees). I had a short torso, so my clarinet also went between my knees, but I couldn’t get an exception — so during concerts, I had to lean my head back at a really…

Yeah, the days when Brad Pitt could shill jeans and cell phones in Japan without anyone knowing (or caring) are long gone.

You mean the “If we’ve brought a little joy into your humdrum Medicin san Frontieres lives, then we feel our hard work ain’t been in vain for nothin. It’s SO humbling to know that DWB doctors found solace in my acting while actively being bombed. Just, really, SO humbling; also, did you notice I just spoke French”…

Yeah. I’m not even mad at him for being thirsty, if that’s what the TS thing was (they’d hardly be the first couple who got together for mutually-beneficial PR, y’know?) — it’s just so much harder to take him seriously since then! He does seem exhausted by it, and I get it — it must be aggravating to have one’s public…

... this is the most inexplicably discomforting ad I’ve ever seen. I’m pretty sure this would have made me deeply uncomfortable even pre-I❤️TS-fiasco, when I still thought Hiddleston was irresistibly magnetic. Now I just feel kind of ... embarrassed for him? (I’m sure his fame and $millions will help console him over…

The girls were subjected to a situation in which their peers openly reinforced the idea that women can — and should — be expected to deal with being objectified on a daily basis, and that men can — and will — get away with it. The girls saying “Fuck this noise,” and the school authorities’ willingness to take their…

I’m disappointed she kept going. That was a great nose!

When Mercedes mentions her sister Porsche, you can be pretty certain it’s not about Spanish heritage :)

You make your au pair do the washing? You don’t have a separate imported organic laundry maid?