that's connecticut

Ugh, this American exceptionalism is really getting out of hand. That Earth's not even to scale.

And how many people did the Purple People Eaters eat?

Force the Pats to be on Hard Knocks for the next two seasons. Belichick would lose his fucking mind.

WE HAVE REACHED THE TAKE SINGULARITY

This is a hot take on Drew's take on hot takes. I lurrrv it.

Max Scherzer's Agent: [tosses out somewhat misleading contract figures]

This is convincing and probably legitimate.

This is the type of controlled implosion that Pete Carroll can get behind.

Not pictured: Packers Defense.

Well, the prostitute might have a family.

This rates a 0.0000000002 on the Marv Albert scale.

Are you illiterate, or just stupid? Either way, you should probably look up the meaning of 'contingency' and cease commenting on local administrative policy until you have.

Liccardo sees a no-lose situation for the city because its attorneys, led by famed antitrust lawyer Joe Cotchett, are handling the case on a contingency. The lawyers get paid only if they are successful.

Correction: Emmit Smiff: [Nod vigmanimously in achievement]

He does, albeit inadvertently, make a very good argument for going back to school.

Uh...wut?