But have you ever licked an electrified fence? Because I have. Once.

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

Once, in a fit of teenage rage, I sliced the entire bottom of my foot off walking up the stone steps of our laundry room. And through my incredible teenage rage, I didn't register the pain or blood and walked around my carpeted house with my foot bleeding so profusely, my parents' came home from a meeting to find me…

Can you imagine how many Republicans have had conversation with him and not realized until they were driving home that he had said something shady directly to their face two hours earlier?

Yeah, but that doesn't mean guys don't write some. And the whole "rape to teach her a lesson" thing is really only written by guys. Girls who write noncon usually do either rape/comfort or rape, but then the victim realizes they actually want it. Still gross, but I've never seen a woman be into the "that'll teach that…

I stand my ground on the Rob Lowe and John Stamos should kiss topic.

True Detective was great all around, but to quote Rainn Wilson, the longshot at the end of Ep. 4 better win all the fucking awards for everything. That was the best 6 minutes of TV ever produced. EVER.

Yeah, this. What kind of handler misses that kind of body language on a horse and says "Hey don't worry about it, this is perfectly safe- just mount this guy from the wrong side then fluff your dress up and around the horse's rear, that'll keep him calm for sure. And tell that woman holding your bouquet to stand in…

"It's changing right in front of my face. I didn't plan this. It's just happening. People keep talking to me, asking me questions, and I can't really answer certain questions because it's still happening, right now. and I'm still goin' through the motions of like, what am I gonna do? You don't just stop loving…

I don't know. I am not saying that everything wrong with the world is men related. But yeah, I will stick to my point of view. We need to put more women in power and see what they accomplish.

"You know what I really want? I want someone to appreciate how hard I work. I want somebody to get up in the morning and they see me on my laptop after I been up for three hours more than you have and now when you get up, you're able to get up whatever time you want."

I relate to what she's saying about relationships SO MUCH. Being an accomplished woman comes with a lot of relationship challenges. My ex husband did not have the confidence to handle my awesomeness. He, then an MP SGT in the army, would constantly tell me that I should leave him for a Special Forces officer. Things…

You might get forgotten sometimes. Not because I don't love you, but because I got the weight of the fucking world on my shoulders and if I don't do it, no one else is gonna do it. I can't depend on no other human being to get up and do this for me, see what I'm saying?

Duuuuude. You pretty much just did say "all ladies in the workplace are annoying, slightly codependent over sharers." I also love my dude-friends and pretty much need my brother-substitutes anywhere I go, but it's not bc I think ladies suck, it's bc I love both dudes and ladies.

"Rice shouldn't have been carrying a toy gun in an open carry state if he didn't want to get shot." Already one in the comments. Fuuuuk these people.

For what it's worth, there ARE people out there who stay relatable when they become parents, they are rare and priceless gems!

I love how you put this: "Fuck the person he was in that moment. Fuck that guy." I am sorry you went through that, and also for your dog. I applaud you for compartmentalizing the blame. Incredible new way to manage frustration with others; a useful tool for tools.

"Maybe after the two of you have realized you're capable of caring for the fur baby, you upgrade to a human baby."

When my brother got married back in '03, my mom started in after him about the "when are you going to give me grandkids?" spiel. He and his bride got a dog, and he told Mom "Beta test."

(clearly, the beta…

OMG, I am SO GLAD that second tale had a happy ending. My heart was seizing up.

Fun story:

So right before my divorce was finalized, my best friend died and left me her dog. For five years, ex and I had always said/joked/seriously opined that if something happened, I would get our dog. I was his primary doggie caregiver and he gave fewer fucks.