LMAO! You made my night!

Good. I want to be able to see when I meet someone if they voted for him. Makes weeding out the terrible people so much easier.

Equal time!

I taught in the era of no-phones to dumb phones. It was great. I also had, get this, a CHALKBOARD. One time I played a record, though, and a kid—a high school senior—asked me, “What’s the big CD thingie?”

Some teachers will do the clear shoe thing as attendance - drop your phone in the slot with your name on it to be counted as present. Your butt could be in your seat but if your phone isn’t there, neither are you. I love the shit out of that approach!

Wow. That was amazingly good.

Congratulations! I work in college admissions, and debaters are hands down my favorite kids to talk to.

You said it, sister/brother! Many blessings of Malinowski be upon you.

Maternity leave has got me so bored sooooo.... This happened.

I know chiropractic care gets a bad wrap sometimes but it helped my back issues during pregnancy. I wasn’t completely pain-free but not nearly as bad as I would have been without it. Doing prenatal water aerobics at the Y was a nice break from supporting the belly all on my own but getting it of the water brought me…

For a minute there I thought you weren’t really pregnant but told her that you were in order to keep her where she’s supposed to be. I’m glad I was mistaken!

Don’t become the built-in babysitter. They’re not your children, and while you should build a relationship with them, your SO should not expect you to immediately take over caring for them. As time goes by, and you get comfortable, then you can consider doing that in an emergency, but don’t let your SO’s time with his…

Don’t tell him straight up to work on his kissing. Make it a game. Do a “follow my lead” thing. You start by just kissing him lightly on the closed lips, then work up. If he starts opening his mouth to wide, tell him no, like this, then repeat what you did. Lead him all the way through to climax. Tell him how great…

I’m pretty good about pulling off the Band-Aid when necessary, and it sounds like you’re there. But I also have commitment issues, so maybe it’s easier for me than it should be.

Honestly, the way I’ve let go of my past serious relationships is to sleep with somebody new immediately. I bet that’s not the healthiest way to do it, though.

So last night was the banquet for the State Finals of high school speech and debate team competition. Top fourteen teams across the state made it to States, one of which I help coach. (I know! It’s huge!) After all day competing, there was dinner and announcement of final four, and, one was us!!! I’m so proud of the…

Hey everyone! I really enjoyed the staff switch between Jezebel and Deadspin staff yesterday. I thought it was hilarious! Would the Jezebel staff consider doing it again? I’d love to see a staff swtich between Gizmodo (well, specifically iO9), or Kotaku. I think that would be fun!

Hi Jezzies! What are you up to tonight? Netflix PSA - Best in Show and the Princess Bride are both streaming now, so that basically sums up my plans for tonight (adding in some time to pump breastmilk, enjoy a couple of glasses of champagne, and chill with my cranky 7 week old baby.)

Hey, practice makes perfect. Each time she marries it lasts a little longer, so she’s making progress at least.

even if they haven’t gone to Lidar, most today are trigger guns so it’s not constantly on unless they want it to be. So unless they’ve used it very recently...your detector isn’t going to detect it when it’s ‘off’.