I’m Chinese-American, and its so funny to me how each countries media reports on the other. In China, where women could own property and divorce hundreds of years before their western counterparts, they see American restrictions on abortions and birth control, the gender pay gap, rates of sexual violence, etc as…

I had no idea we had cards. If we do, it seems like they should come free inside every box of tampons.

There’s a Woman Card?!? Where do I get mine?! Because being a woman in engineering I could kinda use one...

I’ve lived just outside Houston my entire life, minus going off to college, and I approve this message. No matter where you live there are idiots that make your town/state/country look bad, we just seem to have a lot of them around here.

I heard Green Day’s coffee helps you dookie.

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

The prank where I drink all the wine and pass out.

So, here’s a crazy idea: when a kid reaches a certain amount of lunch debt, a social worker or school administrator reaches out to the kid’s family to try to find out why: is the kid going to school with lunch money every day and getting it taken on the way to school? Are they just spending it on chips in the morning?…

Are we ruling out the possibility that he’s secretly sworn to the Dallas Cowboys, though?

No, no, what they mean is, women go in for HIV testing, and then they get the hard sell, and upgrade to an abortion.

It’s not a coincidence. Julia Louis Dreyfus has been squatting in your place for months. She likes to watch you sleep.

It’s all been leading to this?!? You guys have been playing the long game and here’s the payoff. This is beautiful.

I somehow want these to be made into an advent calendar.

• An ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back

Minor quibble - It’s certainly Un-American based on our Constitution and court decisions; it most definitely is American in the sense that we have a pretty decent history of this kind of thing - Japanese internment, 1790 Immigration Act limited naturalization to “free white persons”; black people were allowed in 1860;…

So we are living in separate homes, living separate lives, but for upwards of 2.5 years I'm supposed to remain celibate? Fuck you, pal.

Yeah, the being afraid of being alone thing seems to be a HUGE factor. I would be sad if my marriage ended for some reason, but I don’t think I’d be in a huge rush to replace it. I really enjoyed being single. Love my husband to bits but we’d be lying liars who lie if either one of us said there weren’t times we miss…

Try rising insurance premiums and blood pressure Sarah.

They usually live in Houston. I don’t know if that’s an improvement or not.

I fully expected him to say something like, “we all need 2 fukk til the whole world is 1 color” ...it sounds like something he’d say.