My dirty mind initially read that as “She’s fucking 46 guys,” which confused me because I thought it was just Blake Shelton she was fucking. But yes, she does look fabulous—even if there’s Botox involved. Botox can only do so much. Sunscreen is awesome.

The Try Guys doing the pregnancy stimulations...my god everyone should watch that. But I'd watch Eugene do pretty much anything.

As he was saying that I was actually yelling at my tv, “stop talking stop talking stop talking”.

Well, he’s the guy that admitted having no idea what he was voting on when he first got to Congress. Because he was new and distracted with family tragedy. Painful to watch him speak. I just wanted someone to come on stage, hug him, and walk him home.

I remember her covering the Baptist minister's kitchen in wine bottle labels. She knew how to keep getting called back to the show.

You don’t tattoo your parents’ names on your ass?

Don’t be so harsh! He only had 20 minutes to put together a suit from materials he found in an abandoned room of a country club.

I've learned the best way to loan money is to not consider it a loan - consider it a gift and only give the amount of money you'd be willing to/can afford to give without getting it back. That way if you don't get it back - whatever it was a gift - but if you do get it back it's just a nice bonus

Yeah, trans guy here. I’m guessing “fully functional” is not the same as “as if he was born with it”. It sounds like a standard phalloplasty. Maybe being born a man, they may be able to take advantage of other bodily infrastructure to make it more functional than on an FTM. However, there would be some compromises I…

You sooooo don’t have a 5-year-old.

#feeltheBern

I’d like to see some sort of cage match-type situation between A.C.E. and Landry’s. Fuck Landry’s. Although at least we didn’t tip out management, so...

Your pain is my pain, and also I’m fat so my camis, much like my dates, have to able to go both out and down. I’ll spend what I need to spend, but I have very specific needs and no one is meeting them.

Hahahahaha, oh Brayden, darling, did you read that delightful new Bruce Williams column in the daily print out of the internet that one of our several butlers brought us this morning?

What? You guys obviously are nubes. You just sit on the edge and pee. Like a toilet. But higher up.

My life makes so much sense. I’m sleep depriving myself now so I can get into a good college and graduate quickly so I can get a good job that sleep deprives me so that I will have enough money to retire so I can sleep as much as I want. But by that point I’ll either be dead because lack of sleep killed me or I won’t…

Like hell am I going to a Waffle House in Kentucky at 2am without my gun.

First - you need a HUG. BIG HUG.

This is what happens when you don’t copy and paste that disclaimer on Facebook.

This is sad, but diet frosted lemonade? If you're going to be put to death...shouldn't you just be like, fuck it, I'll just have the calories?