Let me tell you a story about basic arithmetic in the United States of America. One day I saw an article in the newspaper about a presidential candidate’s speech, in which he said, “When I am elected, I will a.) double the defense budget, b.) lower taxes for everybody, and c.) balance the budget and eliminate the…

A/S/L?

“Your insurmountable lead is getting eaten into by a socialist from Vermont.

“How is it possible that you are this bad at running for President?”

Yeah, I immediately starting singing Alice’s Restaurant.

Maybe Arlo Day was named in some kind of homage to Arlo Guthrie? In Massachusetts (where Guthrie lives, I believe) there probably is an Arlo Day, like National Pancake Day.

I find her talking less annoying than her singing. That baby voice. Trying so hard. It’s like the audial equivalent to Renee Zellweger’s face.

Can you imagine trying to get through an essay from high school aged Jewel? Jesus, girl.

Yes, Donald, women all know the word shrill. Just like we all know what it means when politicians cherish us.

Ah yes, “shrill”. Right up there with “bossy” and “aggressive”. Thank goodness he keeps reminding us how much he cherishes us or I might have taken this the wrong way.

Women wanted eight more minutes of foreplay and seven more minutes of intercourse

I’ve got big boobs. They bounce all over the place and are super uncomfortable if they’re free and I’m doing anything besides melting into the couch. I seriously can’t do a day without one. They’re not for titillation, they serve an actual purpose (much like breasts).

Ok all these movie titles are killing me but especially The White Gay Man With the Dragon Tattoo. That would just be such a different movie. A+ Bobby, thank you for your work.

No Country For Old White Gay Men

Thank Jeebus one on that side is willing to call this out. EVERYONE KNOWS it won't get the vote. And EVERYONE KNOWS the President would veto it if it did. Stop hamstringing the government over something only a tiny vocal minority of your constituents want!!!

I’m going to assume that I don’t agree with the Senator about very much, but at least she seems to be a responsible adult, unlike many of her colleagues.

It worked for teaching my boys about menstruation. That talk began in 3rd grade - when many of their classmates may begin their periods and I wanted to instill empathy and understanding - and continues today. In short, my 5th grade sons may know more than many of their female classmates about menstruation and that…

“You’ll get eggs in your belly, just like Easter,”

Ohh, good point! I generally go “does this sound like drugs?” and then keep it moving. I thought Netflix and chill really meant, “me and the OH can’t get a sitter, I’ve had wall to wall meeting all week, and he’s had two shifts where someone’s tried to kill themselves. We’re going to get some Aldi wine and watch Parks…