Is it wrong that when I read this I pictured the back peddling statement going as so...

I think we have enough of these now to do March Madness bracket. Please.

FRANFLECK

Obviously she didn’t use marijuana in jail, but let’s say for the sake of the argument she did, doesn’t that just further highlight the gross negligence and general ineffectiveness and incompetence of the Wallace County police department?*

I am sad that this nanny is named Christine. I was hoping for Jennifer. I want him to only date people named Jennifer.

Was thinking the exact same thing...until I realized he successfully got the theme to The Nanny in my head which will most likely stay there until the end of days.

She was looking for some work—she didn’t want a fling—when she got a nanny job with Ben and Jen this spring. What was she to do, what was she to say, she needed the money. But over the next few months her bosses went to war—she was there to watch the children, but their father saw more. She had youth! Jen went poof!…

Wow, definitely thought you meant that Ben Affleck was dating Fran Drescher, and my mind was blown for a minute.

Seriously, why are people shitting on a person for seeking help? He is an addict. It doesn’t matter what substance he falls off the wagon with, it’s going to be a problem. For me beer is just something I have a couple times a month, you know, to relax. Should I rag on all those weak ass alcoholics out there? How about…

My Corgi Pinup. (her name is Maybe, but she models under the name “Sheddy Page”)

It’s like someone periodically looks and says “Wait... how can we make Kinja even less user-friendly?”

Indeed - because every other thing about vampires is verifiably true

He was pretty damn cute (still is). He was no Jordan Catalano, but I would totally have made out with him in the stairwell or behind the gym.

It’s been at least since Friday. I think they did an update and screwed with everyone who isn’t using Chrome. (there may be other unaffected browsers) I’ve been calling it the “No-Star War of 2015.”

It gives me pretty much the same feeling as when my dog stares at me while she’s taking a shit.

Thanks to a combination of small type and a dim screen, when I first read that I definitely thought it said “I used to suck dick for cake.” And then I was like “yeah, I understand that, cake is fucking delicious.” Also, now I want cake.

I am all for victims choosing for themselves how they want to classify their experience but such a high profile denial, particularly saying her initial claim was just a tool of her high pressure does a huge disservice to women who are already routinely accused of making up allegations during divorce and custody…

Actually, I believe it’s pronounced “Yoooooge.”

Yeah, that makes zero sense. You need the audio version to really get the impact.

.... But on the bright side, Garfield was responsible for me knowing where Abu Dhabi was before the age of 10! Which is more than could be said of half the people in Congress. xD