HAHAHahaha...*cries*

Steve's show is my go to for "I want to not think about anything" television watching. I keep it a secret for obvious reasons. Second choice? Cops.

I am so turned on reading that. Words and word origins are so fucking hot.

When I had my first baby they flopped him up on me all covered in goo and he looked like ET in the part of the movie when he was dying. Fast forward to my second baby and I told them all I didn't want her until she smelled like baby powder and looked like a television baby. I got serious side eye but FUCK THAT! I…

I was also thinking it was...shit I don't know what I thought it was going to be. Just good old Randy eating the furry taco.

That was a really good life choice. I'm not good at those.

She has tanner in her hair. She bleached and then tanned her hair.

Sadly I watched the Randy Quaid sex tape yesterday and don't think I'll be eating tacos for awhile.

"Facebook English is a jingle jangle of letters, pictures, lies, and anxiety."

I'm hijacking this to comment on binge watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. My ENTIRE family unit watched this in one long butt numbing sitting. We never agree on something that all four of us like. NEVER. There is the matriarch (me) an almost 40 lady in grad school, my sexy young beau in his 20s and an undergrad, a 16…

Thank god I'm deciding something correctly.

My son went to DC in a trip sponsored by Civility in Government and Young Adults for Liberty (both organizations suck but that's whatev) and met Ted Cruz. He called me when they left his office and told me "he's just as patronizing and condescending as you'd expect."

When I'm feeling utterly hateful of my ex and his shitty parenting I mock him by telling my son to "rub some dirt in it and suck it up princess" and then we eat ice cream out of the container and watch An Idiot Abroad and cry/laugh.

Now I want to share a Zima with a watermelon jolly rancher in the bottom with some rando at a bonfire and catch mono and relive the tenth grade all over again.

I never knew I had been supporting this worthy cause all along!!

Can I have it in black but with sparkly hot pink letters? Black with hot pink accents accounts for 90% of my wardrobe.

Can we seriously talk about the fact that it's not like teen boys have no issues of their own? I'm raising one and he feels every bit as self conscious and scared and weird as I did as a teen girl. The difference is he isn't allowed by society to show it or he will be called gay and a pussy only further demeaning him.…

I want to wear this.

My supposed adult boyfriend would say butts. Then bewbs. Every time.