Surprised no one warned them about picking up VD from the west coast.

Every time I think Simmons can’t be more of a douche, he proves me wrong. Every damned time.

Sometimes, in the face of tragedy, it’s better to be optimistic. At least Lamar isn’t brain-dead like Curt Schilling.

Does this GIF mean you’re going to jail, Samer?

Egging on the guy to shoot the other guy in the head.

That matches the physical description of the average Texan.

So the shooter was egged on, fell from a wall, and was injured in the fall. I think we’re looking for Humpty Dumpty.

Fuck the Mets.

The worst thing is that they called the neighborhood play originally and then overturned it on replay. Which is explicitly against the rules.

Full disclosure: I HATE THE FUCKING METS. But this is horseshit.

Damn, Derek Fisher STILL won’t give up on the triangle.

What is the ultimate fruit to punt? My friend suggested a grapefruit since it has a great shape and size to cut through the air, and it is also soft enough not to hurt when you punt it. However, it is still strong enough to not disintegrate on contact. Melons would hurt, while berries would be too small. It would have…

Dee Gordon is so fast that by the time you send him a text, he has moved on to a new number.

If you consider a series to be done with three articles remanining, I am guessing you have left a string of unsatisfied women in your wake.

I guess it’s kind of a sign of progress that the 21st century version of LBJ is a lot less bloodthirsty than the 20th century one.

He’d be a hall of fame batter with .500 on the there/their/they’re issue.

I’d just like to say as a Jets fan that I am tremendously excited to be watching such a distinguished rivalry game this Sunday morning at 9. Everton vs. Liverpool has all the ingredients to be a great game.

“Say, you ladies ever heard of Merkle’s Boner?”

Because Boston fans are delusional, perpetually aggrieved loons.

I dunno, this seems like it accurately reflects the beliefs in many parts of Boston.