(Except, weirdly, they’re still outhitting Houston in the series—which is itself a sign that they’re leaving men on base and the Astros aren’t.)

You should’ve just left it at the first three sentences. Nothing you say can make the Astros look worse than the yankees. You cheer for the same team that Rudy Fucking Guiliani cheers for. No. Fuck the yankees. 

Sure, still, fuck the Yankees though.

Why is Girardi talking about him in the past tense like he’s dead? How fucked up is that? He’s right there, you moron.

Yeah, sure, but also fuck the Yankees. 

Your lede is bad and you should feel bad. Frankly the only gift in this is that his wreck affected no one other than himself. 

Drunk driving is one of the few criminal charges that's pretty black and white. You're a shitbag if you choose to drink and drive. 

It’s kind of like when Adrian Peterson got the shitty gift of a league suspension despite having survived his son’s disobedience.

Seriously. Rethink the fucking lede of this story. Dude’s “gift” was not dying from making such a shitty, irresponsible fucking decision.

Shitty gift or deserved gift?

Breitbart?

But if he had 500 at-bats then he should easily have more than 500 plate appearances... 

Thank you, this was goddamn perfect.

And nowi f you don’t mind I’m going to get blackout drunk so I don’t have to think about it too much.

The argument I’ve heard is that it was flipped about 60 years or so ago, when the top echelons of society stopped being populated exclusively by wealthy scions who—though vile—had been raised with certain ideas about noblesse oblige, philanthropy, community responsibility, and propriety. They were bad men, but of an…

I just got done talking to someone who works for a competing health system in our city and this quote couldn’t have been more perfectly timed to read.

I had been a subscriber of SI from the late 60s (was in single digits, ok?) until 2 years ago. That mag told me the story of what I’d seen or heard about in a way like no other.

I actually now remember going to an all-hands meeting once where they had a slide labeled “Customers” with all of our biggest customers listed below, then they had a animation cross them out and replace with “Shareholders”. For some reason the VP giving the speech was surprised when the entire crowd groaned and a few…

Unfortunately, my senators are Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, so I could call literally one billion times per day and they wouldn’t vote to remove Trump from office. I could put loaded pistols in their mouths and they wouldn’t vote to remove Trump from office. I could invent time travel and bring them to witness every…

They’ll rationalize it by saying that it’s understandable and forgivable because he’s under such immense pressure from the godless Democrats and that they’ll pray to God he’ll be forgiven.

I can only imagine how high his blood pressure and cholesterol levels are right now. Based on the fact that the man’s diet consist of KFC, McDonald’s and as of late pure fucking rage, I’m actually just a little surprised that he hasn’t stroked out yet, but then again Dick Cheney is still alive and we exist in an…