Maybe you should stop dating beverages.

Awesome. You sound tough.

strutting around and bobbing their heads with no regard for the baseball going on.

Because Sublime is its own unique pile of garbage.

Beastie Boys and Lou Reed give lie to my entire thesis. I AM TOUGH BUT FAIR.

Have you heard their newest album? It's not a "herd" mentality, it's a "heard" mentality. As in "hey have you heard the new Black Keys album?" "Yeah, it sucks hard."

Oh yeah...Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running outta you! ;)

Haven't seen someone drop two on Japan so quickly since 1945.

Excellent piece Barry. Although, I'd like to offer my thoughts on a particular line: Coming out is now a stage-managed media event, scripted and choreographed in a way that ensures America receives only the most telegenic version of what at bottom is still a deeply personal act.

+1 car for everyone in the audience

It was the most arresting scene in sports for quite some time.

Uga is sending recruits hand drawn portraits? That dog can fucking draw!

"#CancelSueyPark"? So you're saying you'd like to...Chop Suey?

A few years ago. Didn't like it. Too hectic, although it was entertaining. Best part was at the wrap party when the guy who hit a tree, fell, and managed to break both wrists was asked how he was planning on wiping his ass for the next three months.

I don't know if you did this on purpose, Reuben, but your last sentence contains an oxymoron.

Single life snow day:

Sorry folks, Astroworld has been closed since 2005. Moose out front shoulda told ya.