Wait, there's a new iPhone coming out?

@Occam's Racer: Seriously, what's up with the image support on Gawker lately? I've basically stopped trying.

@Chris Hanson's Axe: That's nothing. Sometimes the hearing just cuts out in one of my ears. I keep convincing myself that it's just wax.

Sylvester McMonkey McBean Unstarred Sneetches With Stars on Their Bellies

@BigHarryWieters: I just got caught with my dick in the cookie jar.

@lwnexgen: Debt of Honor and the sequel, Executive Orders.

Reed's fantasy is basically pulled verbatim from Tom Clancy's "Debt of Honor", which concludes with a terrorist flying a 747 into the capitol building during a joint session of congress killing everyone but JACK FREAKING RYAN who takes over the presidency and leads us into a brave new world. FOR THE REST OF THE…

@Peter Nincompoop: <— Complains about chauvanistic male fans, then refers to women as "whores", "cum dumpsters", "twat", and "walking STD".

@Lorem Ipsum: Black poop = black cat?

@AndyReidsOtherSon: I always just use a shovel.

@With Ferentz Like These...:

It's part of the game. Of course, the unwritten rule that allows this sort of thing also discourages getting caught...

@BigHarryWieters: More like grade C.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: ...and it's a birth mark, you idiot.

@DirkToberFest: ABF?

pro-women advocate Melinda Tankard Reist

@ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: My wife is all about using the china. We use it every time somebody comes over. Ours is dishwasher safe, which is the most clutch thing in history.

For somebody who hates Tebow's so badly, Petchesky sure has devoted an inordinate amount of his journalistic career to the guy. He's like the staff Tebow writer.