The writing here is exceptionally good. This string of alliteration/assonance ought to resonate no matter one’s political opinion:

You had me at the link containing ‘wsj’ in its address.

Catcher: Hey buddy, you know what time it is?

it’s snark

Aside from the fact that you’re a fuckin’ moron, you don’t really think it’s okay to grope a woman no matter what they’re wearing, right?

Good take but you’re leaving something out. The media and fans have, ad nauseam, ad infinitum, shouted that your career is worthless without rings and the regular season doesn’t matter. So how can they blame teams for resting guys so they’re ready for the playoffs?

Seriously, the NHL is also 82 games long and much more physical. You don’t see their stars taking games off to rest.

Plus, they literally skate through the season!

Laser Kittenz? I mean...it’s been done.

And people thought Pelicans was a stupid team name.

I look forward to the scintillating coverage of my uncles and I drunkenly playing War at Thanksgiving.

Stick to sports

I get that video game and card game competitions are a thing but I can’t find the words to describe how little I care. I wish there was a way to hide Compete stories from the Deadspin feed.

Also, March Madness is going on so who gives a flying fuck about a late-season Cavs/Clips matchup as much as they normally would!?!?

This is stupid. Within the scope of the rules, you expect coaches and GMs to do everything they can to win a championship. If the rules currently don’t encourage the types of behaviors that (as commissioner) you don’t believe promotes the NBA and the game, that’s not a failure on the part of the team or the coach.

Pick your battles, NBA officials. Golden State’s decision last week seemed a bit more egregious.

How is this not coming to the Switch?!

No one liked Goof Troop.

Don’t you Errrr me.

They only reason they want to build all this stuff is to create defense jobs in their district to boost re-election odds. The armed forces are getting hardware they don’t even want.