$200 Lincoln LS

I’m laughing and choking at the same time.

You are a different kind of monster

Lights off when it’s raining. Even if the visibility doesn’t 100% necessitate it, if someone doesn’t abide by the “wipers on, lights on” rule they’re most likely a bad driver.

That’s actually just another pair of khakis folded up.

ROFL. One with a contractor father. :D

This has the chance to be the most famous blonde beard since Kelly Preston.

“11 picks? That’s nothing. Hold my smokes.”

22 new QBs! One of them has to hit.

If he shits the bed? Have you had Chicago-style pizza?

Uh, no. Ford didn’t need a huge bailout because they saw the crash coming and mortgaged all their physical assets to the max while the credit markets were still functional in order to generate operating cash... and they still took lots of government money, just not as much and under different programs. Congrats on…

So you use your toothbrushes for cutting things instead of cleaning your teeth. Well, I reckon that explains it.

Mustard is for hot dogs, not ketchup. You’re probably one of those monsters that considers hot dogs a sandwich too aren’t you?

Pfft, I am still rocking my B5, and have recently come to terms with the fact that I will never be emotionally over it. I’m over that, though. I appreciate my dumb old wagon, and I get this Maxima guy to the core.

If Jay Cutler is calling the shots then he’s likely to end up on a completely different team than the one he’s intending to go to

He says he’s in the right lane.

Now if there was only some sort of government standard to get morons to turn OFF the DRLs and turn ON the head and tail lights when its dark, rainy, foggy or snowing out......

May be healthy, but I have no doubt in their ability to make people produce gigantic ass explosions.

Need to hide a blood stain? Don’t wash it out, cover the clothes in used motor oil! It may not fool the crime-sniffing dogs, but it will really mess with the Luminol tests!