Isn't that just like... how he is?

That gif rules.

No, I have never been a douchebag or a solider. My bad, homie.

Bad girlfriend! Bad! tsk tsk.

I am pee-shy. Anyone who tries to talk to me on the toilet will be met with an icy silence until they shut up and I am able to get down to business. I likewise, out of common courtesy, operate under the understanding that everyone else is pee shy.

What the hell is wrong with you people saying its ok to have conversations with people when you're both on the toilet? Who are you? Seriously. Show yourselves!

You get me.

Banned foods include alcohol, coffee, soda, dairy, meat, pasta, starchy grains and refined sugar.

That is horrible. (and true)

hey grrrl

You are very reassuring. Thank you.

I just starting watching Parks and Rec and Chris Pratt is totally my husband now just FYI

That's a really polite way of saying it.

Who the hell produced this shit? Why do they hate happiness? Any why are they taking it out on humanity?

Cuz you keep sucking up all the awesome.

So at this point what is the likelihood that mummified foreskin and cotton candy clown known as Trump will get the republican candidacy? Because in my eyes, I can't imagine anyone less fit to be president, but it's my understanding the conservative approval rating for Trump is through the roof.

Want. No- need. Adding to my Christmas list stat.

You dont.

Love you too sweets. <3