Caulk...not restaurant related, but this reminded me of a story.

Bonus story about her: I’m talking to her one day (this is 2008) and casually ask her who she’s voting for in the upcoming election. She puts down her clipboard and tells me:

If you do another incompetent manager piece:

Clearly you have never worked a buffet.

This is also a perfect example of why having the general public anywhere near any type of shared food is one of the worst ideas ever.

I just threw up in my mouth a little

This sounded so serial killer-esque to me.

The finest microwaves.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

INT: Fancy diner-themed restaurant, last night around 6:00PM EST.

Speaking of the cheese story...I was once behind a soccer mom type in line at Chipotle, and she pointed at the cheese and asked what kind it is. Reasonable question, right? I had honestly never thought about it and wasn’t sure myself. They (unsurprisingly) told her it was Monterey Jack. Her response? “Are you sure…

My personal favorite incident was a waitress explaining to a Texan up in Connecticut the cooking method used in the steamed clams. Then his curiosity went to the fried scungili - “Mame, how is the fried Skun-Jilly cooked?”

“TURRRRRRDS!”

I like the cut of your jib Jackson

Somebody’s bitter that their family failed at scamming for a free dinner.

Queso Detectives

brb gonna order food and yell “POW!” at the end

It seems like a reasonable person might realize that this kind of thing would be possible. Hell, even likely. One should probably assume that this gentleman does not hit a lot of golf balls out of peoples' asses. So, there's a decent chance he might miss. She willingly participated in this stunt so I don't understand…

Don't say that I'm a slut,

All she wanted was to have a golf ball hit off of her bare ass, but instead she was humiliated like this.