Skivvies! Yes! I’m torn now between that and unmentionables.

UNMENTIONABLES!

“Do not use Looncup when you pass airport security”. THAT would be fun to explain...

I was working at a chain smoothie restaurant in Chicago, filling in at a store that wasn’t mine. This store had a HELLISH fruit fly problem, which the resident manager claimed to be the result of a perennially damp basement. As I was helping to prep for close, I noticed that it was kinda grimy under the dish sink (we…

you are wrong

its Roseburg. It’s a white guy.

This applies to women as well. Most primates of either gender aren’t monogamous. The whole thing is a social construct deriving from inheritance laws and other dated crap.

yeah, sorry dude, I lost my hymen in a fucking accident.

that dealy is called a tilde

you totally just made that up, didn’t you? A “slap on the wrist” is a mild or inadequate punishment. “slip on the wrist” isnt even a searchable idiom...

he said "most serious studies", so he obviously has papers to back it up. And he prefaced it with the ASSertion that this is a given. So, you know, obviously real.

Please source your statistical claims. Really, id love to see where you got those numbers.

yay! I read the slate article and was so hoping you would respond...

all correct

when I worked at jamba juice, there was indeed a secret menu, that consisted of a faxed around bun h of recipies that bored teenagers had invented. When some asshole tried to order something off the secret menu, however, I would just say “ I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you tell me the ingredients, ill…

c

I once worked at a Starbucks located on a busy corner in Chicago. We had a restroom that the baristas had to push a button to let you yin, customers only. I refused access to an asshole non-customer. Someone else let him in. He pooped on the floor, then mashed it around under the trashcan.

what a bizarre notion! Someone’s been watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

you’re assuming that it’s true.

turn it upside down, its easier to see what it is