Know what I hate? People who wear windbreakers made out of what I think might be Sunchip bags. Do you not hear how frickin' noisy your jacket is?! I'm trying to take a nap next to you and you're all moving around constantly in your biodegradable Sunchip jacket, bugging me. Take that shit off.

anonymous - anonymous - toxicmunkee - anonymous

Well, I have to admit this "I cheated because I felt under appreciated" excuse is way better than the "I tripped and my penis fell in her vagina (AKA 'I don't know what happened')" excuse. So, yay?

Won't keeping moms at home where they belong solve this problem?

This one time a hairdresser gave me a mullet. Or is it called a femullet on women? Anyway, I cried in the car and then drove somewhere else to get it fixed, because I knew the woman wouldn't be able to do it. Just looking at her...being there in the first place was a mistake.

Mainly I was trying to make fun of how movies and tv portray Prom.

So what does this say about black women who are thin and in great shape? No, I'm sorry, this whole thing is so idiotic. I'm going to go lay down.

I'm sorry...I was taught in movies and the original 90210 that the Prom was the perfect time to lose your virginity. How is that goal possible when you're surrounded by only girls? I am outraged that I've been lied to!

Investigating sexual assaults is such a drag, amiright Police Chief Mark Muir?

Thank you, dipshit. As if it's my goal in life to be sexually appealing to all male strangers I come into contact with. Whenever I leave the house I think, "Is this outfit going to make me appear bangable to as large a male audience as possible?"

It's crap like this that makes me wish Jesus would come back and send these jackasses straight to Hell.

Ssssooooo...what happens to a restaurant able to seat 1,500 people when the Olympics is over? I can't imagine it would be a big enough attraction where people would think, "Hey, let's go eat McDonald's at the largest McDonald's ever! It will be fun and different!"

Peeing in a closed stall where no one can see you: serious business.

Or just name her Max. I never quite understood the whole "give a child a long name so you can give them a nickname" thing. Name them what you want to call them.

You know, I would unfriend the very last dregs of my high school acquaintances, but I'm having too much fun watching them freak out about the bullying epidemic. Especially since I remember them bullying me and a friend of mine who tried to kill herself. Why would I deliberately avoid such entertainment?

I appreciate the celebmedia trying so desperately to make me care about the Kelly Osbourne/Christina Aguilera/The Wanted feud, but I'm just not feeling an emotional connection here. There should be a cute factor thrown in. Like puppies or baby sloths or something.

Their four kids call The Artist Formerly Known as "Dad"...

I can only hope it goes out of style. Because this woman is stunning.

This sounds like one of those Nigerian scams. I'm not dumb!

I think rich people should hoard as much of their money as possible because I hear you can take it with you. Economy shenomony.