I didn't like the way the center console ran on rails.

My vagina loves its Mini Cooper Clubman.

I once worked for a neonatologist. He was older, really close to retirement, and had been taking care of premies most of his adult life. He once told me that a fetus becomes a person once it's viable outside of the womb. I'm not sure if he meant that as something he seriously believed or if that was how he dealt…

Of course I do.

I ALSO WANT TO YELL THAT THIS THREAD ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF.

Oh, sure. She can joke about Sandra Fluke being a lesbian, but one liberal makes a joke about Ann Coulter having an adam's apple...

We need to find a way to stunt puberty. Because if there's one thing that distracts kids it's hormones.

Ban reading. There. I just solved any possibility of children learning lessons from books.

Edited because HURR DURR I can read.

You know, even nice people sometimes say things that aren't nice. Joan's human. But the fact remains that there aren't many heavy actors working in Hollywood. Even Jason Segel was told to lose weight for a part. Let's not pretend that there isn't a weight problem in Hollywood just because Sibide is a great person.

I'm mesmerized by seeing actual skin texture. Like real people have.

Is Neil Patrick Harris the most awesome person in the world? He might be.

"People shouldn't be posting their business on Facebook."

Kids shouldn't get anything and everything they want simply because they're kids. So what if he was crying? Kids cry about everything.

That's it. I'm out. *slits wrists*

What they're not telling you is that there will be ONE passenger advocate, and they'll be hidden away in the bowels of the airport and you'll have to make your complaint immediately after the incident. So you'll have to walk through a giant airport and sit in an office to make your complaint (hope there's not a…

Put those 940 Saturdays to good use by keeping your daughter virtuous and terrified of her own body!

Being a mom constantly sounds like emotional torture. I'm glad I decided not to be one.

I was unfriended by someone who, after posting something dumb like "hon, I put the dishes in the dishwasher, love you!" I flipped out and said "You're in the same house. TALK to each other!"

*blink-blink*