So are men getting women into stirrups and inspecting vaginas with a clear plastic speculum? Because vaginas are internal.

"The mission of the Boy Scouts of America is to develop a character and leadership skills and youth of today to become leaders of tomorrow. And anything that distracts from that mission distracts from what our program is."

Ryan Gosling so far has failed to appear in ANY of my holes. This study is bullshit.

Ah, I see. That makes sense. Ever since the two of them basically went the same direction I've been lumping them together.

How is what Chelsea does different than what Jenna Bush Hager does?

Surely the proclamation that it took an entire year is exaggerated.

We white people be trippin'!

A friend of mine, who reads the smuttiest smut and entertains me with stories of dressing up in costumes for her husband before he "pounds her into the floor", calls this book "Fifty Shades of Suck."

All I need to know about this "trend" is that Dr. Oz thinks it's a "trend" so therefore it's bullshit.

Why shouldn't Jennifer Aniston be happy? Her marriage was over almost a decade ago. She's over it. Can the rest of us be over it, too?

We own the dvd, but only because there are times where all I want to do is start it where the ship starts to sink. I'm a horrible person for finding that so entertaining.

OMG, gay couples, just quit it and stuff!

My vagina is used. If I ever get divorced will I have to show a vaginafax?

I once dated a guy who didn't care about period blood. We'd throw down a towel and both shower afterwards.

My mom bitched for a week when Weight Watchers changed the points on a Big Mac, her go-to meal after a whiskey bender. So that was fun.

Does it come with "fog horn"?

Wait. Is Jeremy Renner asking me to peek in his windows and search through his underwear? Because that would make me feel wonderful in a moderately creepy way.

Why does this dog want me to assassinate the prime minister of Malaysia?

I heard that Ryan Gosling thinks this show will be crap.

So not only am I from Venus, but I'm also a Cougar who will morph into a Panther? What comes after Panther? It's a Sloth, isn't it. Or maybe a Koala. Come on. Women are notoriously long-lived in my family, but I have no illusions that at 98 I'm going to have the stamina of a jungle cat.