Sand(usky), kids, and sunscreen are a bad combination.

‘I really don’t see what the problem is here.’

Glad she didn’t kvitova that.

The President’s trophy actively discourages touching.

Guns out, sons out.

Unfortunately, turd cutters like Rudy are still allowed on planes.

Throw in Limbaugh with Ailes in the next few days and that might come close.

I could gopher that.

Why in the fuck is she wearing doctoral regalia, when she only has a bachelor’s from Calvin College????

Now why would you think that?

+1 sucking chest wound

+1 sucking chest wound

That’s cole, man.

Based on these last 3 months, that’s still gonna feel like an eternity.

‘Messi reached into their chests, gripped their franticly beating hearts, tore the organs out, and stood there before his victims, hoisting his bloody trophies to the sky.’

About as intimidating as Kush.

Ichiro and Vince Carter should totally hang.

I read that I was most likely to get into an accident within a mile of my house ... so I moved.

Honey Dijon No. 1? I’d rather eat No. 2.