Isn’t turkey bacon already a meatless substitute?

Two things will always hold true: A mile will always be longer than a kilometer, and SimuLord will always shoehorn in a comment about a date, a girlfriend, or a wife he had.

If you happen to be in or around Manhattan today, free samples are will be available from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. local time, at participating stores.

Nope, I didn’t. That is a legitimate concern for people, so it didn’t come off as sarcasm.

The first time I ever saw Two Hearted in southern California was two days ago, at Costco. I regret not buying it now. I’m sure it’s available other places, but it is definitely rare down here. I’ve also never seen Stiegl, but maybe I’m not looking in the right part of the beer aisle.

If you don’t like the delivery guy coming to your door, why don’t you just order carry out? That’s all this is. Carry out. You still have to drive to the shop.

Is it really that far off? Obviously on a global scale, LeBron and Curry rank 1 and 2 when it comes to current players. But in basketball circles, and to basketball fans, and to Deadspin readers and commentors, Kawhi has dominated the headlines for the last month and a half. 

How very Trump-like (read: racist) of you. “Cortez. I call her Cortez because I don’t have time to learn her whole name.”

I actually go by Uncle Denis. It rhymes with penis.

This story is dumb because Magic leaked it before he ever even met with the Lakers. The quote from the article frames this as an after-meeting leak, but what was Magic leaking after the meeting that we didn’t already know?

Why is it so hard for everyone to spell his name right? Kawai, Kahwi, Kawahi, Khawi, Kwahi...I’ve seen it every which way you can imagine.

How about, if you’re about to say something mind-numbingly stupid, don’t comment?

And, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve always thought perfect, criss-crossed grill marks had a late 80s/early 90s sensibility.

Order their fries well-done. They get super crispy and are much, much better, especially if you are ordering to go. Still missing the fluffiness, but the satisfying crunch is totally worth it.

Do you think you’re entitled to a response just because you wrote 5,000 words? What if your 5,000 words all sucked? Judging by the quality of writing in your comment, editing your piece would have been a nightmare.

“Russ Westbrook is a bum Im sorry I love him to death but hes a fucking bum he cannot do this by hisself all he would do is put up another MVP season”

Jeez, poor Firefly Festival. They probably get confused for Fyre Festival all the time.

Padres fan here. I feel your pain. At least Deadspin writes about all the cool shit your guys do!

Here’s Aaron Hicks hitting 105.5 in 2016.

Just piling on to the masses to say this is one of the dumbest, most illogical ideas I have ever seen.