Yo, dude who played Clark is STILL HOT and can still get it:

RIGHT? When your net worth is $30 million, you don’t get to call yourself an average, blue collar American.

“The voice of the average, blue-collar American isn’t necessarily represented in Hollywood.”

oh jesus. Paul Hollywood, ever the annoying fourth wheel. I shall miss Mel and Sue. Although guys, I just watched season 4. How the fuck did Kimberly not win? How the fuck did Francis win after a whole season of “style over substance” comments from the judges?

Imagine a chapstick-a dudestick, if you will-that you put on the tip of your dick. When you orgasm, it naturally blocks the cum from exiting the dick, but just keeps it inside the body with #science. How is this different from a condom? They both keep you from getting your partner pregnant by containing the cum. You…

I...I don’t think I could even pull my minora together enough to glue them together. I feel like even sitting would be painful!

But Jean Ralphio had brown friends. I would take Jean Ralphio over what we have.

It’s gonna be ok

A pearl and diamond necklace which, upon closer inspection, is actually Morse code spelling out a plea for assistance escaping.

“the deal was reached a week ago, but has been kept ‘a big secret’ because Michele’s camp feared the seven days of criticism that would surely lead up the divisive President-elect’s big day.”

Lesbians have been perfecting the whole “being friends with your ex” thing for generations.

Yes, and I heard the buoy was excellent.

The jesus freaks need to keep their damn hands off my #1 source for how to give a better blow job.

It’s almost like if you write genuinely complex female characters, you don’t need to shorthand their trauma.

That’s the part that enrages and baffles me the most (aside from everything else, I honestly can’t decide). You literally hire actors to pretend to feel emotion. There is no reason to force them to actually feel it. There is no fucking reason to make a woman really feel like she’s going to get raped. Talk to her like…

“Dr. Carson feels he has no government experience, he’s never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency.”

I hate it when casinos and girlfriends ruin men’s lives like that.

As soon as Clinton and Obama reached out to Trump, his manic desire to be loved by everyone immediately kicked into gear and he began walking back many of his previous positions- on deportations, on the prosecution of Bill and Hillary, and on his language concerning undocumented immigrants who haven’t committed…

I watched it and I cried and cried and cried and cried. Deep, thick, choking crying. And I watched it just now and cried again, but with just a bit less pain.

If you are calling your fiancé a “hot older boy,” I feel like you aren’t ready for marriage.