TBF, I don’t think she ever met her father. Her very existence is the cynical result of a business venture by her mother to be included in the will of the man she was married to for about 3 minutes.

It’s very functional as it has room for transporting and using lots of coke without getting it all over your iPhone

Agreed. I have a feeling that she made herself up this way on purpose and thinks she looks “dewy and glowing”, but to me it screams COKE SHEEN.

Considering that the Bible itself is a book of conflicting made up and/or plagiarized fables and allegories, you have to wonder what the criteria for what’s fake and what’s authentic actually is.

So the daughter of a man who owned a football team whose name is a racial slur isn’t woke? Color me shocked. 

Isn’t it ironic that they now need science to confirm the authenticity of religion.

I would also like to have the kind of monthly allowance that allows me to have frivolous shit like a $400 glass purse.

Never put coins into your vagina for safekeeping. 

Glass Purse

soooo, bring ‘em young?

If you see a bird and it is picking out the eyes of a newborn baby, that is a lucky omen, your womb will be barren.

is also what I say when I do something like show up to an airport 45 minutes before takeover

Treat kiddie handoffs like a baton race: You don’t let go until you are sure the other person is holding the baton.

We need to stop reporting these as "murder-suicides" and start calling them "suicide-murders". Maybe then the dipfucks who carry them out will try the suicide bit first.

Woods claims that she did leave the boy on the front porch and run to her car, but that was only after a woman came to the window and told her to leave the boy on the porch.

I think the message here for women is don’t date dudes 15+ years older than you. Or the same age as you. Or younger than you. Just, like, stop interacting with men really. I think after 5000 years of human civilization, we can declare that the experiment has failed. Nice try, good effort, but I think it’s time to…

Yeah, I certainly have sympathy for Mr. Everett.

I am not defending what those cops did, but yeah. Stop friending every mother fucker who knows a friend of your friend’s friend. And stop friending or joining those shitty meme farms. They are either watching you to sell your data, or are a cop monitoring you, or a motherfucker doing even sketchier shit than that.

It's not only possible but prudent to tailor what people can see. The people I really  deal with  have much different level of info available to them than randos and people friended for games.

I told some of my simpleminded relatives to stop friending everyone. But their common asses don’t listen. However, it doesn’t give the police any right to exploit someone’s online behavior nor use the fact that they are snitching on themselves as evidence.