I predict here’s how it’ll go down:

I had the love at first sight feeling with my person. He did not feel the same way. lol. He had just started dating someone, but two and a half years later, we got together!

If she just figuratively married him, she would end up saving a lot on legal fees in the breakup. 

Bleep Bloop Bleep Let’s Laugh With Celebrities With Mr. Good Time Smiley Pants

Special is the kind of word one of my too-polite-to-swear coworkers would use for people who were assholes, idiots, and other various jackwagons.

“Happy Birthday to the leader of the Democrat Party, Maxine Waters!”

Re: Kellyanne and Spouse: I have never seen two people who look more like the Dickensian overlord couple of an abusive boarding school.

Where’s the “sweeping, over-the-top epic” as exemplified by “November Rain,” “I Would Do Anything for Love”, and “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”?  I will always stand up for those.  I do love my cheesy excess.

My 13 year old read about this and immediately wanted to see if she could message this girl somehow and let her know that she and all her friends would welcome her anytime.

I want to make some excuse about this state and the backwards residents therein (and perhaps make some kind of inbreeding joke)...

Hey Maddie and Brandy Rose! There are millions of Americans who are horrified at how you’re being treated and who would welcome you into their communities. I hope you are able to not internalize the message that these adults are trying to send to you. They are deeply flawed--not you.

Anyone want to sign my petition to level Oklahoma and drive its current residents underground to live with the mole people?

I’m accepting ideas now on what would could build in its place. I’m thinking the absolute gayest amusement park. 

“Why aren’t you talking about all of our successes?”

Faux News: We refuse to participate in the coverage about this scandal, but we will cover the coverage of the scandal. And if that gets old, we’ll cover the coverage of the coverage of the scandal. 

It seems Faux and Fiends might finally have their Rudy moment.

You know this is Trump irl right now

Trump was raised by a Klansman. The question isn’t “has he said the N word,” it’s “when did he say it last?”

I’m still agog that people would vote for a reality show character, but that’s where we are. I’m mildly curious what the Manigault Newman administration will look like, hopefully she’ll be inclusive and bring in reality gameshow characters from all the networks. That way we could have Nick Offerman and Amy Poehler in…

Gee, it’s almost like he’s not playing multi-dimensional chess, but that he’s a thin-skinned little narcissist with terrible impulse control.