toslothperchancetodream
toslothperchancetodream
toslothperchancetodream

Can they do custom ones? I want one that’s like just xanax.

Hell, I put a grain of sand up in there three years ago and I'm still waiting for a big expensive-ass PEARL to come out :/

The empty bottles made dinner for Khloé while singing a song

In all fairness to Chloe, if I walked in to my home and my “roommate/person who is not paying any rent” had a person I didn’t care for, and a mess; I would’ve kicked them out too. No one brings drama into my home.

It . . .is. .FORBIDDEN!

The 2 bolted into Rob’s wing and locked the door

PLEASE may we have a Dirt Bag based entirely on the exploits of Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman??

Awwww congrats to Tyra and her family. What a beautiful statement about their own joy while recognizing all the others who may struggle the same way but without the means to do something like that. Good for them!

that sectional. that SECTIONAL. THAT sectional. THAT SECTIONAL.

One day, The Donald woke up to find his comb over curled on his head, asleep. He hasn’t had the heart to wake it up.

This morning I woke up and under my pillow was my cat! I can’t tell if he likes the pressure of my head pushing a pillow into his body while he sleeping or if he’s trying to get me to unknowingly suffocate him while I sleep so that he can frame me for his murder Gone Girl style to teach me a lesson. Really hard to

“I’m such a quirky, cool, and unique individual that I need a quirky, cool, and unique pet. Otherwise, how will anyone know how quirky, cool, and unique I am? You think I’m gonna buy a dog, like some schmoe? As if.”

Starred becasue there is never enough Grandma humor that includes sexual innuendo.

This is where Donald Trump came from.

It’s not the first time Grandma has been woken up with a banana, amirite?

time to watch The Craft again

“Islam is traced patrilineally. I am a Muslim if my father is Muslim. In that sense, it is undeniable that Barack Obama was born a Muslim”

For fuck’s sake people. I can’t even offer anything besides that because there’s no arguing with these type of people. Literally ANY study, ANY report, ANY info at all that you could try to show them to counteract what they believe and they just dismiss it as being untrue “because”.