Me either. They do the same thing to other foods like fruit cake. Hey, eat it or don't but why all the hate? 

I have found my people. The tiniest thread, but the only that holds truth.

True story: just over 20 years ago in college, my roommate put half of a pizza that he didn’t finish outside of one of the main computer labs and wrote — LARGE AND IN BOLD ON THE BOX — “Free Pizza / MAY HAVE MONO!” and that shit was gone in under 10 minutes...

Fuck yes. I’ll be making some candy corn peanut brittle this weekend.

Me neither. I’m right there with you. Those circus peanuts, though...disgusting.

It’s because people are dumb, they just can’t help it. Candy corn is awesome.

Sometimes I have to remind myself how bizarre everything is these days, because it’s starting to feel normal, and that frightens me.

Yes, according to Supernatural, Constantine, Harry Dresden, and my mom who was born and raised in New Orleans, ghosts and other spirits can’t cross a line of salt.

Yeah, but live backwards is...! 

On a fucking cruise?!

OK but the most terrifying part of this story is that your wife got pregnant with Baby #2 only four months after having #1...

that’s a pretty thoughtful sentence for a 1 year old?? 

I don’t have a story to share, but I do know why I don’t have letter fridge magnets. I absolutely do not want to see messages spelled out on my fridge. I would totally lose my shit at that.

Sex is not objectively terrible; cruises, on the other hand.

WHAAAAAAT.

How not to get pregnant: Don’t have sex.

Was the weird dud’s name “Brett” by any chance?

wut

Let’s be honest with each other. Considering the parent was using a gun as a party favor, there’s every likelihood in the world that kid’s quitting school at 18 before he finishes 10th grade.

To hear him tell it, he was just simply a nice church going boy who only wanted to be top of his class and captain of his team. He had such clarity of mind at all times he never lost his faculties unlike Ford who must have been mixed up in some haze.