“Well, we got you test results back, and that’s definitely not a cat.”

Bastahd, you’re from Maine, aren’t ya?

Unsolicited advice that will likely never make it out of the greys: Swim dammit. Get into a pool and swim.

This.

#notallkids

After watching the first Frozen my son told me he wished I’d die like Elsa’s parents, so he and his brother could have an ice rink in the front yard.

I’m surprised the NRA even knows Parks & Rec, I guess there are no decent Duck Dynasty memes.

Better make it two a day, just to be safe.

Can’t be too upset about the reporter not going in to break up the fight. If you’ve ever tried to do that yourself, you know you’re not coming out unscathed, especially if you don’t have a towel or something at hand.

I feel like he gets this more often than not everywhere he goes.

Wait...are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that car dealers do shady shit to make a quick buck?

Can you imagine being able to snuggle up to Obama in that pic? Closing your eyes, inhaling the leather scent, and pretending for that one second that it’s okay, all this never happened...

He certainly doesn’t understand the important role he is playing in the lives of the dogs in his world.

I don’t understand why you’re asking all of these silly questions. Maybe you should talk to your husband before posting online. After you make a few beautiful babies.

Yeah, the irony is that acting like Trump isn’t an idiot is a sure sign of partisan hackery that makes that person unable to deal with reality, so they were just proving their basic competence...

So with growing up in Minnesota and driving on ice and Black Ice for 4-5 months a year (some winters more, some less) there is one bit of advice I can recommend.

Going out on a limb here but I’m guessing that the countless old white men investigating Clinton for Benghazi weren’t saying nice things about her behind her back.

When the horse was asked if she would be voting for Moore, she responded, “neigh”.

come on, please for the love of JC someone tell me a loud “Fuck You and the horse you rode in on ...” was heard throughout the land ...

Wow, so glad I embrace my inner Grinch.