“How can we afford tax cuts for ourselves if we have to pay you for the work you do?”

Uhhh what fucking libraries are you going to?

I appreciate your solution but please don’t wish these folks upon my gene pool.

“If it’s drugs, it’s achievable. If it’s a bunch of transfusions of young blood, that’s less achievable.”

My other favorite when they walk into the master suite and see the gigantic walk-in closet:

Make up a drinking game.

The film is about death and separation

Ha...80's dads for you. One of my friends Dad’s used to load us in his work van and there was a road that went steeply downhill and then had a little flat spot before going downhill again. He would coast down the hill and get air off the flat spot. We would all go flying in the air and thought it was the most…

Co-signed! I’ve had cellulitis twice: once on my arm from an IV, once on the back of my head from a spider bite. I’m not diabetic, just unlucky. And the antibiotics I had to take were no joke. Ugh, fingers crossed there’s not a third time.

The depressing thing is that the gun nuts of America won’t even consider relieving a gun owner of his weapons once there has been a claim of domestic violence, because “women would just lie.” 

Or the “Say Goodbye To Your Deductions For 401k Contributions, Mortgage Interest, Student Loan Interest, and State and Local Taxes... In Fact Just Resign Yourself To The Fact That You Will Never Retire And When You Are Carried Out Of Your Job In A Pine Box When You Die On The Job Your Paycheck Will Be Calculated To…

Dude, he is 100000% cheating on you. Simplest explanation is generally the correct one. He is fucking someone else with YOUR STUFF and lying to you (not very skillfully, either) about it. He’s cheating on you, it’s gross, toss out all your toys and get new ones because EWWWWWW, get an STD panel done, and DTMFA.

Bop-It. I win. The end.

social editor, teaching us how to be not social.

As someone who has occasional appointments at work with hearing impaired folk, my trivial necessity to the pen and notepad advice is this:

A racist, sexist, ignoramus with early-onset dementia gets elected President of the United States.

A real President would personally lead our armed forces into Myanmar and end this. Trump, Obama, Clinton(s), Bush(es), Reagan, etc...none of them give a fuck. Congress doesn’t give a fuck. Hell, most Americans don’t give a fuck. This is exactly why the system needs to change; so the United States can actually do some…

Y’all. The second movie was a disaster. Kim is doing the world a favor.

I’m tired of BIG CAT having so much influence on the web, it is time for someone to speak up.