M*A*S*H had at least two episodes I can remember where Hawkeye did an open heart massage like that - S03E05 where a patient loses heartbeat during surgery and Hawkeye manages to get it started again like this (though Radar informs him hours later the patient died in postop), and S01E17 where Hawkeye’s war…

I’d rather just die at that point. 

There should be a short dash and a long dash

“Go ahead and sleep in, we don’t have any plans today.”

I will very much mocked for this, but signing a guy to a max contract, who won’t play for you for a year and is coming off an Achilles injury, seems dumb.

To be fair, Julius Randle is widely considered the Kevin Durant of the Randle family.

I’ll agree, that Venn diagram is likely a circle.

Not sure if it is really the same person, but it’s worth the reminder, The Dame Jo has been around these parts before:

From: Rich Pritchard

From: Andres Carranza

Barry,

Razr, FFS.

Me: *clicks on headline*
Me: *Ctrl-F*
Me: *searches father’s name*
Me: *searches father’s email address*
Me: *breathes a small sigh of relief*

What you do for a brain is scary

A lot of these were hard to read. Kudos to Lauren.

...he couldn’t have assaulted Carroll because “she’s not my type.”

Everyone’s been working hard to get him to stay in Toronto but as the old adage goes a Leonard never changes his spots.

Given O.J.’s history, I’m really proud of his choice to go with Malcolm LaVergne instead of The Real Law Offices of Kardashian, Kardashian, Kardashian, Kardashian, and Kardashian LLP.

More importantly, I’ll be able to talk about everything, especially sports and fantasy football, and even politics.

There will be a lot of joking involved with this asshole’s emergence on Twitter but let’s not forget that this fucking coward tore his wife’s throat out and got away with it.