My granFanda had a mixed bag of cattle types in her herd and I can tell you from experience that Limousins are obstreperous, indignant jackasses. Freedom cow will be fine.

This is a good first step.

White Baby Boomer out of touch, lather, rinse, repeat.

Pleasantly surprised to see Gerwig and Peele in there. Now if they can just give Best Actor to anybody but Gary “Nancy Pelosi is a c*nt” Oldman.

I’m just surprised they don’t cover up the toes.

I can’t even imagine how hard it is to fit into those outfits when you’re always retaining water.

No, it’s pretty awesome.

Plus he’s had public flings with other celeb chicks during their relationship.

I think it’s just about the same reaction or thought about that woman who looked away with a glass of wine while her husband screamed at me in the middle of restaurant because I picked up his dish with a few onions left and saying: “WHY THE HELL DID YOU TAKE MY STEAK!”

And the answer is, because they know what type of…

I don’t understand how he got a Super Bowl halftime show. He doesn’t have a large catalogue of hits to work with and arguably, Dick in a Box is his best work.

...he dismissed the idea of a Vegas residency as “planning your retirement.”

I think it’s because it seems (at least to me) that Sheeran tries to pass himself off as sensitive and female friendly. Bieber doesn’t seem like he’s trying to convince anyone he’s not a douche.

Holy fucking ouch that sounds painful.

...I would’ve gone Tarantino on her ass.

Finally, Sessions picks on someone his own size. However, the naughty little elf should check with Keebler corporate. His anti-pot stance is denying them billions in the edibles market.

Pictured: Aly’s parents listing to the statement.

I clerked for Judge Aquilina in law school. I can’t imagine her response to Nassar’s request for a pity party for having to listen to all his victims. I’m sure she kept her cool and remained professional, but behind closed doors I bet she let loose. I have no doubt she’ll throw the book at this asshole.

This made my heart so happy.

I AM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELY. Just imagining it made me feel like a champ.

Oh god. Poor boy! Caused a physical reaction in me to read that, your poor brother! Mine was similar, by the time I got an ultrasound I was in brain bending pain and THEY LOOKED FIR ECTOPIC FUCKING PREGNANCY FIRST. Even with a solid family history of gallbladder disease. I was 29, thin, healthy, active and the…