Hamilton,

I know he’s rich and all, but I’m kind of surprised he was able to get a semi.

Florida? Florida?!?

This opening statement from Adam Schiff lays out pretty clearly how fucked up Trump’s ties are to Russia

...kind of out of it out there. (Brands) said ‘Throw me.’

Agreed. When is it just throwing the bat?

but not have to subject myself or wife to the glow of a 42 incher

Damn that first miss was so close super glad I got to see it

Number 9 really goes out of his way to get in the way.

I’d be upset if my goalie mistake cost us a baby, too.

this made me LOL out loud

Whats the world coming to when a mop is called a “floor cleaning appartus?”

Donald Trump: This is disgraceful. I love Israel just love it. I love it even more each time I use the Soda Stream Ivanka bought me. I love it even more each time I see a chick pee.

Like Mad About You. But Swedish. And nicer, with a lot less indecisive agonizing.

Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job....

INCORRECT, SIR.

Alternative history: “It was a sign from God when the wreckage of the World Trade Center formed the shape of a bunch of dildos.”

I did vote for the candidate that actually acknowledges my daily struggle to exist in this country.

Make a negative generalization about a large, diverse group of people whose only commonality is their color of skin? Yeah, that’s being racist.

If only there was some magical way for you not to read the articles you aren’t interested in.