It’s turtles all the way down

the Indians never quite threatened, but they constantly threatened to threaten

This is what we in baskebtball call a “play”. It requires players on offense to move in an organized fashion that they have rehearsed before the actual game. Of course without this insider information that I just provided, the average layperson would just marvel at LeBron throwing the ball in a random direction…

rimshot

Wait a minute. I’ve heard this one before...

Nope. If you’re running a sandwich shop, and you run out of pickles, you are obligated to close up shop for the day.

You mean he couldn’t even identify Gowron as the leader of the Klingon High Council? 

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

I wrote a haiku about this very question:

Seems to be how it works in real life too

Seems winning the coin toss and choosing “white” was a good idea.

Just reading the headline, that's a horrific flavor of punch to serve.

Plot twist: it was because she was saying vagina when she meant vulva.

Should have gone the Tim Minchin route.

10,000 miles to Australia...

Now that the Triple Crown happened, I thought we all agreed to ignore horse racing, for the sake of our consciences.

Well, thanks for the reminder of why I fucking hate my own species.

As an Irishman, I would like to point out that the phrase “profane Irishman” is redundant.

When beating Duke, celebration krzyld be kept to a minimum.