“...no pizza chain has been in on the fiver action until now.”

Sweet Jesus, are people in large numbers actually eating crunchy tacos without heating up the shells first?!  This is advice for stupid people.

It might have been, if it’d been composed by a person who knows what humor actually is.

When we got the DVD and re-watched it after many years, I was a bit worried that the special effects would look schlocky and silly.

He’ll be bored.

I’ve watched every episode of TWD since the beginning. The pilot remains the best episode they’ve ever done.

*cries*

Whoa, shit, how did I forget his chain-smoking, spiritually compromised doctor in Exorcist III? That’s one of my favorite goddamn movies, too.

Since both your examples refer to yourself, no one takes issue with your framing your mild maladies as some kind of warfare you’re involved in.

Cancer survivor here, right with you and the oncologists on this.

His brief but extremely memorable role in Bong Joon-Ho’s The Host (as a mad-scientist character) was a perfect fit with Bong’s very off-kilter, blackly humorous film.

False equivalency, smartass.  Blood pressure meds are not tranquilizers.

John Lithgow

When wrinkled, greasy homunculus Rupert Murdoch dies—which has gotta be soon, regardless of the dough he’s spending to stay alive—his son will take over the business, and general gossip says that his son has plans for FOXNews which do not include being the Right’s agitprop arm any longer.

“As a lover of Snickers but not a huge peanut fan...”

Yes, that is such an important detail.

Lawl. The kind of ambulatory perineum who not only harasses his city’s clerical workers repeatedly—with obvious enjoyment—but then brags about it to the world, is never going to concern himself with any kind of courtesy to others. I doubt he understands the concept.

“Have it Uruguay” is my favorite moment.

I’m sorry for you. I don’t know how to explain the humor in this to you...No one thinks this is actually AI writing these things, it’s meant as...*sigh*  I hate to leave you like this but I just can’t.

In any “It was a long time ago, get over it!” situation, I always fall back on Bill Hicks: “Well, the Crucifixion was two thousand years ago, and people STILL won’t shut up about it.”