Wrong badass (that was Michael Ironside).

I for one am highly offended by oatmeal. Nasty sticky stuff.

May I suggest you read the first 80-85% of the book, and then burn it? Please trust me, that would be a better experience than reading the whole thing.

Thank you for articulating what I hate about the ending.

Good synopsis, but you omitted the...interesting...fact that in the novel Lady Silence is adjudged by a ship’s doctor to be no more than fifteen years of age (and a virgin, stated to be unusual in her culture) because...male author, I guess.

FYI, any shellfish you saute in a little bacon grease will be ambrosia.

Amazon has many variations on this (at varying prices, of course). I bought one similar to this and it is so great for straining & keeping bacon fat: https://smile.amazon.com/Oggi-7324-Stainless-Removable-Strainer/dp/B00JZO3A1I/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1524320794&sr=8-6&keywords=bacon+fat

Well his father is white, so of course, duh.

But that’s obviously a 1990s computer, so it looks like the prophecy was either wrong or came true 20+ years ago.

I am certain in my mind that I first read of the Voynich Manuscript in a mythos story when I was a kid. It probably wasn’t an actual HPL work; more likely it was from one of his myriad admirers/emulators.

Welll...you could cook the chicken first, and then cut it up after it’s cooked. If you’re a fucking snowflake, that is.

The headline of this piece is very misleading, as it implies that its question will be answered within the piece.

For the last three decades, I have been cooking rice just like pasta: Large pot of salted water. Add rice when water boils. Boil 10-12 minutes. Drain in colander. If you are unsure of done-ness, scoop out a sample and give it the tooth test.

Oh, fuck, don’t let Murphy see this.

I would add Koko and Blue Rose to your list, but Koko might be a generational thing (all that Vietnam stuff).

Um, Steve Jobs is dead.

I’d be extremely interested in a closer look at the “Runaway Bride,” Jennifer Wilbanks, whose story was milked for laughs, but who appeared to have been kept a literal prisoner by her own mother (who arranged the meeting and marriage to Mason) up until her escape:

Rome.

He does not look anything like Matt Lauer. He reminds me more of, like, maybe a mentally-challenged Patrick Stewart.