One of the reasons I love being a nurse? Draining shit like this.

SO. SATISFYING.

When I was in Europe, selling monogrammed thermoses, THEY would cook my steaks for me until it was tender, no matter how long it took. Americans are so lazy sometimes.

I want to meet her so badly, if only to say- "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just have to tell you: I love you(r voice)."

I'm no expert on Marijuana-laced products but here's some more suggestions for names:

If they aren't Sorcia McNasty Southern Ghost Truck levels of terrifying, I'm going to be VERY disappointed.

She truly deserves this. She survived the Taliban's bullet, but most importantly, survived the Taliban's rhetoric.

Does anything else really need to be said?

Had to be done.

Is it possible for some of our readers to get vegan nothing burgers? I don't want them to feel like we're not being sensitive to their needs.

But! Does he sell monogrammed coffee thermoses?

EXCUSE ME, I AM WEARING DIOR.

Seth Rogen is the single redeeming thing about James Franco.

Boo, Clay Aiken, boo. Inappropriate by whose standard? The same assholes who kept you in the closet.

Yeah, keep hugging pets, skateboarding and cuddling kids. Meanwhile, she remains at large...

" Could have used more vegan options. Im outraged. I'll have you know, Im very important. I sell monogrammed thermos's."

To be fair, that twat (typo stays because I like it) was part of a running commentary on Ferguson where Jesse Williams appears to be at the moment. And he's angry too.

For true pretentiousness see Will Smith's two children - whatevertheirnamesI'mtired.

But by her own account, Jellyfishhead: "Sent me right into labor. Soon as I got up, I was having contractions," she said.

Nope. Calling BS on you. Having been 9 months pregnant twice I can attest that running down a mugger and fighting him off when you're that effing uncomfortable is the victory. She deserves the headlines. AND it's likely that event triggered her contractions.

Worst. Yard Sale. Ever.