“I’d like to cuddle up with that fellow. Too bad he’s so old.” - Kevin Spacey

Spit take

I have to say, that is quite a description on how you personally suck ass. I try not to fly, so my ass sucking is usually done on staircases because people are also fucking slow.

I thought you guys called yourselves Recovering Catholic. Source: former coworker overheard saying “I’m a Recovering Catholic.”

If I had known it was that kind of party, I’d a stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes!

Especially when he’s full of Columbia’s treasure!

DeMolay is the name of the boys branch (for lack of a better word), of the Shriners/Masons. Sure it didn’t go extinct?

Pedro Martinez

Figured out there are two different Kansas Cities yet?

No Mr. Hand, but I am on dope.

Expertly used in Blazing Saddles previous to this NYP headline suggestion. Some just may get it.

Dear Mr. Pence,

Looks more like Mayo Clinic v Equitrust/Verizon.

T2 is not better than The Terminator on any planet in any universe. Also no Gattaca?

The Jayhawks?

How about replacing the WD40 with a jar of vasoline full of sand?

He’s ripping off Inglewood. And probably a little of LA county.

Was it? But seriously, asking as an Angeleno, was it?

Considering the Cardinals already moved to Phoenix, what’s her answer?

Just because they haven’t won since the merger, that doesn’t mean Kansas City is without an NFL team. Unless you meant Columbia or maybe Joplin.