you don’t know anyone who owns a recumbent bike do you? I live in a town full of them. Those people are the anti-coal, recycle your own urine to water the plants kind of folks. Very anti Trump. 

Just the difference in his current speech patterns and the clip above are startling. Not to give him a pass, but his brain is broken. 

I’m super sensitive to noise, like my brain won’t function but unless it’s after 9 or before 7 I don’t freak out about it. And when I do freak out, it’s usually in the form of knocking on a neighbor’s door and saying “dude, it’s *whatever time* and I have to work in the morning. Can you please turn it down?” even…

you’re 40 and dating a teenager? That’s just gross. It’s not jealousy, believe me.

I’ve had men say that to me when I have a full face of makeup including NARS Orgasm blush that has FREAKING SPARKLES IN but what they mean is they like a conventionally pretty woman who is pretty because of genetics and that’s basic af. Do you also like straight teeth and breasts and average height???! You radical. 

see that article last year. omg the gnashing of teeth for that bullshit. 

I’m just the opposite. Coming from a French background, every baguette is buttered before you make your ham and cheese so when I encounter mayo it’s a slick and nasty surprise. 

or mushrooms...

I loved tumblr porn and I’m an old. Most commercial porn will shut my libido right down but I need a little bit of  a jump start when I’m by myself. I’m not going back to buying magazines, so the tumblr pages worked for me. 

i just looked them up on insta and I think I am now an old because my reaction was “I don’t get it.”

how have people not learned the first lesson about life; “don’t start nothin, won’t be nothin.” If someone put their hands on me I don’t know what the hell I’d do. I’ve only hit two people in my life and both times were full fist-to-jaw contact and both because they started touching me and I’d asked them to stop. Both…

ugh. it’s just old bullshitty racism. With a bit of homophobia sprinkled in. Go fuck yourself, CK. 

i know that a knife doesn’t seem like a big deal, but in close combat, you are much more likely to die with a knife wielding attacker. I would have complied too.

BEER AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, DON’T YOU LIKE A BEER ON A HOT DAY???!?!? GEEZ!

Yeah I don’t like shows where the people are terrible. I really enjoyed Sugar Rush and Zumbo’s Last Desserts. Even the people on British Baking show stress me out because I can’t with people who aren’t confident in their work. 

I was shocked to see that he’s married. I can’t imagine living with someone who thinks they’re THAT level of right all of the time. 

it makes me so angry when he says stuff like this because it illustrates so fundamentally  that he doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s talking about. If we close the southern border we are going to close off one of the major sources of commerce. So what does that entail? closing airports? How about the Port of…

I live in Oregon and we regulate alcohol out the yin yang but I can buy a pre-roll  for $4. I’ll never leave.

She’s the O RLY owl come to life

I know that it’s a bad stereotype that gay men are obsessed with fashion, but those above photos are what happens if you don’t have any gay or black friends because it’s tragic. How the fuck do you have that much money and look that bad? Also, the ironed straight extensions need to go back to 2002 where they belong...