i have literally had people ask me “why” I speak multiple languages. As if the pursuit of knowledge isn’t enough.

This is a literal violation of the 1st Amendment. Where are all of the “protectors of freedom” now? 

they’re about a decade late on what’s cool on men’s faces. 

I first was introduced to her from Future Man and that netflix documentary about Asian rappers. I am both attracted and annoyed by her. 

All of this and no mention of Enchanted which I think is one of the best modern movie musicals. There needs to be a sequel.

hOw dArE sHe aDvoCaTe fOr HerSeLf?!?!?!?

Whenever I say anything about how not progressive our town is, people start in with the “go live elsewhere” thus proving my point. 

One of the soulmates was Tahani. The show has made not only mention but it’s canon that she’s bi. 

it’s almost like you’ve never seen movies. 

there is no one more petty than a gate agent. That’s why I always dress nicely and put on my happy face if I have to ask for anything. I am not a generally happy person. But I would be more unhappy if I got fucked over right before a flight.

Southwest isn’t a budget airline. Just because you can’t pick a seat, people think it is. But they don’t nickel and dime you with add-on fees and if it’s a holiday, you get a free drink. Heck, fly them more than a couple of times a quarter and they’ll send you drink tickets which your flight attendant may or may not…

unicorn tears. 

you’re holding her to a different cultural standard. You DO NOT make a fuss about anything in Japan. It’s just not done, especially if you are outside of the majority culture in some way. The fact that she says her family is Japanese and Haitian is saying something in that culture.

All of you people need to listen to Dumb People Town. And I nominate Oregon for the alt-Florida. Weird shit happens up there. 

you’re a catch. 

LIKE A BOSS. 

wow that’s a *ahem* different crowd than I expected. It’s almost like you went back in time to a 1970s blaxploitation movie. huh. 

I mean of course you were probably called “White Matt” and then as people got to know you better it got changed to “Matt, you know that white boy, but he’s cool tho” 

MLK was born in 1929. In what way is that a boomer?

Pontiac Matt. You know you’re part of the family when you get a tangential nickname.