There’s nothing wrong with liking bad music, the problem is only liking bad music. If you only listen to Katy Swift or Linkin Bizkit, and refuse to listen to anything else, then you have a problem.

You can expend huge amounts of energy trying to get your kids to learn table manners, but nothing you do will ever be as effective as one of their friends seeing them stick their fingers in a bowl of mac and cheese and screaming ‘GROOOSSS’ right in their faces. This is one of the rare things that peers can police that…

Then you get my mother, who flips meat on the grill with nothing but her moderately long nails.

OMG thank you so much!! I get so pissed when I see people saying “oh Charles & Camilla are so adorable.

You want to get under the skin of a white person call them white trash. I’ve found that always works best. They are so conditioned to believe in their superiority that the minute any non-white person looks down their nose at them they become an unhinged babbling mess. The main reason we are now stuck in the world of…

and they’re all doing it: When Diana confronted Charles about Camilla, now the Duchess of Cornwall, Diana said he replied: ‘Well, I refuse to be the only Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.’

Diana was shocked to see Camilla at her wedding because she was Charle’s *current mistress* not ex. Charles screwed Camilla the night before his wedding— hardly ex territory.

Diana definitely had self-esteem issues but her not wanting the ex of your new husband who is still screwing your new husband and welcomed YOU into his bedroom the first time you see is not really one.

Right? You can always find more love. Unless you’re Ann Coulter.

She offers a lot of wisdom. Also Schatze from How to Marry a Millionaire.

I agree, but do you know what the damnedest thing is? You are the THIRD time someone has quoted Lorelai Lee (using her name even) to me today.

So, so true. In the immortal words of Loralei Lee, “if a girl is always worrying about how much money she doesn’t have, how is she ever going to have time for being in love?” I tell my mom that all the time when she tells me about It’s Just Lunch.

And it never goes the other way around, conveniently. I once had a guy rescind the offer of a second date because he found out about my post-graduation job (diplomatic service) and he was immediately like ‘NOPE!’ as though my career was the problem and not his lack of conversational skills.

The money’s not suddenly going to start getting on you to lose weight, even though your weight hasn’t changed since you met.

I mean, it’s super easy to insult, malign, ostrasize, and further weaken the people you have personally (or as part of a group) thoroughly disillusioned :b

In all seriousness I personally know about four divorces attributable to “looking up old flames on Facebook.”

Man, my mom was legit AGHAST when I told her I don’t think I’ll have kids because it costs SO much to raise a child now/medical issues that run in my family.

AKA a ton of millennials are only in a committed relationship because they can’t afford a 1 bedroom apartment on their own. A $36,000 raise would allow them to break up with the partner they’re not really that into anymore, without having to move back in with their parents.

Every relationship I’ve had has ended not because of interpersonal problems, but because of jobs. Relocation specifically.

But... but I thought we were lazy and refused to work? Now it turns out we’re actually heartless, career-driven monsters? Gosh, I just can’t keep our role in society straight.