tonynoriega
Tony Noriega
tonynoriega

Somebody hungry for a knuckle sandwich and a bottle of punch?

Little known fact: humpback whales are called humpback whales because of a distinctive “hump” shape on their back.

But we wouldn’t click if it said, “This drift makes sense.”

Another Skyline responsible for leaving big skid marks:

Don’t undercut the mouth fucking industry wages with your independent contractor pricing!

“banged one in with his off-hand”...

Of course he won! The butler keeps putting the ball back on the table in the same exact fuckin’ spot!

The action of going mudding makes you a redneck. It’s just reality.

You can be a wealthy hedge fund manager from Wall Street named Kip Smithers, but for those five minutes that you’re ripping donuts through a field in your Mercedes GLS, you’re a redneck.

Break out the Skittles and the dick-holding TD leaps!

If this is where we’re dumping unneeded, poor-taste jokes, I’m tossing this here

“there was a lookout at the door watching for coaches not to come.”

D.B. Pooper

“... hit a set of spike strips going 115 MPH, subsequently barreled off of the road and into a drainage ditch, launched the truck into the air and landed on a car parked at a restaurant” 

We know he didn’t do it.

Why are you surprised they mourn the right way?

Was the windshield tinted black?

Stopped reading at ‘Unfrosted’.