SURE, JAN.

Yes, the gay guy rolled his eyes at you because of sexism. (EYE ROLL)

Welp, I must be sexist too. Because every time Kellyanne opens her pie hole, I get a good look at my cerebral cortex.

They’ll have to interview President Yates and find out.

Jason Chaffetz can eat every bag of dicks. He might be the biggest douchewizard in Washington.

Also; Jason Chaffetz is calling for an investigation into Comey’s firing.

One day, the kids will see the movie and ask, “Did it really happen like that?” And we will shake our heads sadly and explain that, no, it was so much stupider.

Dude is smuggling a geoduck in his pants.

“Daddy, who’s that?”

“Jon Hamm’s penis is about the size of an obese hamster.”

I know in my heart that when the heat gets to be too much, he’ll pardon himself and resign but still, I like to fantasize about a massive treason trial, something on the order of The Nuremberg Trials, where Trump and his girlfriend’s husband Jared, are marched out in chains to face a very long trial, at the end of…

I mean. Did you miss the W years?

Many, many of them believe that Obama is a Muslim rent boy, Michelle is transgender, and that Hillary Clinton runs a child sex slavery ring out of a tunnel under a pizza place- they will believe absolutely anything.

Way too sophisticated and left-wing for Sunkist Hitler. Don’t forget that Ted Geisel drew this amazing cartoon during the 1940's:

Trump Presidential Library

I don’t know, but I’m looking forward to see what they do with that Staten Island Hooters basement. It’s going to be great walking through there with a plate of wings.

No library for Trump. Just a claustrophobic, gilded-to-the-gills media room with wall-to-wall screens playing the greatest hits of Fox News & Friends on a loop.

My headcanon is that he was their secret weapon:

CAN THEY PLEASE STOP BRINGING UP THE FUCKING CAMPAIGN

PleasepleasepleasePLEASE don’t go quietly into this good night, Comey. Take everyone with you. Don’t be the fall guy and stooge. Just start dragging everyone around you down. You can’t tell me you weren’t prepared for this. You can’t tell me you didn’t have a strategy in place in case you got canned.