Two of those three hold up.

“Son, do you remember your name?”

“So... I saw your dad and Bridget took you to the ballgame this weekend...”

If that is his Mom, his Dad deserves all the stars in this thread.

Dale Hansen is a goddamn treasure and should run for senate or president or some shit.

Too many toes and a hard tackle.  Rex Ryan just soaked his beanbag chair

Our constitution does not allow for cruel and unusual punishment. If it did, I have to say, I might allow what he did to all of these beautiful souls—these young women in their childhood—I would allow someone or many people to do to him what he did to others.

feed her to a bear

Listen, when you work for the Mariners, you have to expect a little seamen. 

He is so goddamn dense that it’s honestly a miracle that he doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the pool and drown every time he gets into the water. 

And people say this guy was never IV league material.

An NFL owner that does something [record scratch] good?

Better commenters. Better comments.

A Police Lineup

Trigg Adams, Sanders’ grandson

This tweet has been brought to you by the year 1945. 

Shit, I thought it was the troops’ job to make football stronger. So confused now.

Let he who doesn’t chop his parmesan cheese with a credit card cast the first stone.