Maybe it’s just because this has been such an absolute shitshow of a year, but something tells me that there’s a bigger reason behind his leaving and that coming out first with admission of substance addiction will lay the groundwork for a future excuse when past behavior gets brought up.

So what allegations will be coming out that will be chalked up to these substance abuse issues?

Ancient commenting alumnus Arkansas Fred had the TOTD on this subject.

He’s black.

What is it about Russell Wilson that makes people so goddamn dumb, even apart from Benoit? Benoit is taking a dump all over a tremendously exciting, talented, accomplished player for no good reason. He leads his team in rushing for crissakes!

Can Deadspin just start calling them the Washington Redhawks from now on?

Just so you know, WFT, this is what doing the right thing looks like.

Fittingly, Le Dragna is French-Creole for “the dipshit.”

To be fair, he usually just hangs around the Ponies

Not pictured: the Texans’ staff immediately sent Zaid back out on the court for a second attempt.

Nope, he was walking off when someone threw something at him and that is when he deviated from leaving the field.

I fucking love Jürgen Klopp.

RIP Wentz’ mobility.

The US is so bad at soccer that it can’t even win its own league championship.

Go fuck yourself

Considering how Trump thinks he’s King of America™, yeah that is okay to say at this point. Shit ain’t what it was anymore, clearly. 

And that’s only if you’re white. Anyone of color will have to enter through the service door around back.

crazy to think that someday we will all crawl into that huge pink mouth and huddle behind the shattered and tilted peaks of his teeth along the rolling wet hills of his McDonald’s-impacted gum line as he leaps, naked, out into space on a trajectory set for Earth 2, a quivering savior hurtling spread eagle through the…

If we divided up the union, how many pieces would we need to break off into. Would it be possible to lump the south and midwest together into one nation (I’m guessing the capital would be the Talladega Motor Speedway), while keeping the rest of the country even if it’s separated geographically (West coast, plus north…

For me his greatest crime was opening two doors on his advent calendar on the same day.