If you ever doubted that this world was shit, remember that there are people out there who have to mine fucking sand. Jesus.

You blew a once in a lifetime headline.

See: PSU, last year.

Maybe don’t get blown out by Iowa for one of your two losses next time?

Earlier this year, climber Brian Koralewski was working on a V6 problem in Little Rock Canyon, Utah, near Provo.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Gronk is basically Kevin Malone from the Office, but really good at football.

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

It’s just like Ray to try and make a suit disappear.

Or, just hang out with your wife and kids. That seems appropriate here.

Wanna know who definitely finds this amusing?:

Real’s been pretty shit so far, are already 10 back of Barca, Ronaldo has 1 goal in La Liga and the dressing room is in revolt.

Can we just move on from this and get to more pressing matters? Such as, what will Trump do if the family members of the turkey he pardons this week don’t pay him enough respect afterwards?

Took that brutal injury and still wrote the article about it. You are a true company man. Da real MVP.

I used to loathe Lavar Ball. I thought he was a grandstanding troll that was coasting on the athletic ability of his oldest son.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

Is it true un-promoted commenters can go but not mingle (or make direct eye contact) with Deadspin staff?

“if we evolved from monkeys, why are there monkeys?”