goddamn onions.

Drunk and looking for a fight? He’s a pregnancy away from the Irish Triple Crown.

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

If only he had millions of dollars to fall back on

And with that, Jalen Ramsey became the first player to actively try to get into the Bengals locker room.

“You can try movin on all you want. He’s gonna find yah. Back in 83', Olivia and I packed up Peyton and Coop, in the middle of the night, and hightailed it up to Minneapolis. 9 days later, we are awoken by a horrible shriek downstairs. I kid you not, we find Eli stuck, one arm and one leg through the doggie door,…

That’s nothing. During pregame warmups, Newton was heard telling his teammates, “Time to fire up the Hindenburg!”

“It’s all I was qualifie.......TO DEFEND THE FLAG!”

“I fought to protect the freedoms you enjoy in this country, so you better stop fucking enjoying them!”

The seaman has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

Since he is going on Sean Hannity’s show it sounds like he would rather cry with the sinners than laugh with the Saints 

For the first time ever, I slam dunked a basketball.

The sun was brighter. The grass was greener. Food tasted better.

What a dumbass. If he had just beaten up his girlfriend or child like a normal NFL player instead of smoking weed, he would have been reinstated a lot sooner.

and if the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that NFL front offices have a real strong grasp of QB evaluation

Hoyer seems like the logical choice to become Brady’s backup, but he’s also rumored to have a couple of other teams interested in him and he likely still wants to play, so it’s no slam dunk he goes back to New England. The Pats are on a bye week this weekend, so they have a bit more time to figure out the position.

Not surprised LeBron picked a costume with a better hairline than his own.

I guess that’s one advantage to being a big fat guy.

I keep thinking I want to rewatch this, but then I wonder if it’s really as good as nostalgia insists. I dread finding out that it’s really terrible.