I want Carson back!

Nah, you’re the guy who takes to the comment section to say that he’ll show no sorrow. That’s exponentially worse that being the guy who shows no sorrow. May you and yours suffer only perfectly logical, expected, and unavoidable misfortunes.

Sanctimonious bullshit. You’re using the story of a kid’s death to pat yourself on the back. Way to make it all about your feelings, dickhead.

As a former “professional” surfer, go fuck yourself. When a hurricane or storm comes in, it is very, very common to surf the swell created by it before the storm arrives and immediately following its departure. That is literally how waves are created. Storms create winds, winds create waves. He wasn’t surfing while…

You have no point. Barbados was not in the direct path of the storm, and was not heavily damaged or flooded. Lots of people were surfing that break, which only breaks during swells of this size. He was a professional, in a dangerous sport. Motor racing, climbing, gymnastics, surfing and many other sports carry risks…

I will be the guy to tell you to go fuck yourself. Don’t bother trampling on the memory of someone you neither know nor understand.

For all the non-surfing keyboard warriors throwing Darwin awards around it should be mentioned that this kid was an up-and-coming, world class talent. He was out surfing with other pros, had been getting plenty of good waves and riding them successfully. He had the skill and ability to handle the conditions. He died…

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

My favorite Deadspin bit so has been your insistence on calling this show All Takes Matter. I have no idea what this show is actually called and I love it that way.

Is it possible the douche with the mic intentionally called the obvious girl a boy because he wanted to insult a kid wearing a hippie-dippy tie-dye t-shirt?

Is it possible this girl called him a fucking idiot for referring to her as a “young man” and not anything to do with it being infowars?

“He went as long as he could”

That’s the face of a man who knows damn well he could rip that tubby boy’s head clean off but won’t because security is there.

Alabama fan Charles Jr claimed he was only sticking up for Uncle Dad.

The face of the bald dude after he got punched at ~:20 is golden

This. You can’t let him stand there and get fucking mollywhopped on every other play.

He’s a coma surviving, ambulance-ridin, doctors orders abidin’, nurse kissing, still-alive son-of-a-bitch!

Ah yes, Rick Flair. I remember his classic matches with Hank Hogan and Andrew the Really Tall Guy.

So, just like Jason Whitlock, he’s going to get paid an inordinate amount of money to do a job he’s not very good at.